How a Newborn Affects You

S

(this was literally how far i got into a blog post about two days ago)

A Baby!

We all knew it was coming sooner or later! Monday July 20th at 1517, a human being emerged from my wife. Pretty cool.

You know, I spent most of the pregnancy in shock that there was a little thing growing inside Siri that was half made up of me and half of her. It really tripped me out thinking about it. And I thought that feeling would carry over through parenting, but while the feeling may return one day, it really hasnt felt like that since Lucy was born. It struck me very abruptly when she was born that here, right in front of me, all of a sudden, was this entirely different person. Someone completely other than me. She didnt just seem like half of me and half of Siri, but someone else entirely. And she is! She will grow up and be her own person, we were just the ones blessed to be her parents!

The adventure continues!

The Affair at the Chinese Busstop

As my mind was wandering today at work, i remembered back to an experience i had at a bus station in China....Beijing I believe. (As a side note, don't you just love how the word "Beijing" looks in print? All those dots above the Is and J form such a nice super-vocable elipsis of sorts...very pleasing). At any rate, my brother and I were trying to discern which bus would most delightfully take us to our intended destination (and there were so many to choose from!). Fortunately, my brother spoke Chinese (fluently, to my ears, though i he often denied it). One young girl, probably 16 or 17, we asked directions from (rather, my brother asked directions from), after ostensibly telling my brother where we would find our intended destination, proceded to attempt to engage me in conversation. Being wholly ignorant of any form of communication in Chinese, I responded with a blank stare and a deflection to my brother. My brother kindly explained that I dont speak Chinese (he said his exact translated words work out to be something like: "my brother is a dumb monkey, he doesnt understand" or something to that effect. He continues to assure me that this is just how the Chinese say "He doesn't speak your language" but I still have my doubts.) But this explanation didnt satisfy this persistent young lady, who fruitlessly attempted to continue to engage me in conversation. She eventually gestured for me to lend her my note pad, in which she wrote what my brother explained was likely her name and phone number. At that, we parted ways, and I, of no contribution of my own, ended up with some girls phone number. If you know me well, you will be firmly aware that at that time in life I was about as ignorant of talking to girls as I was of the Chinese language itself, which makes the whole experience doubly confounding. The thing that really puzzled me for some time after that was the hilariously outlandish notion that I would somehow be able to call this person on the telephone, and have a more successful conversation with her than I did at the bus station! I guess you cant blame her for trying to defy all odds, however unfortunately, she seriously picked the wrong la-whye (*aka, ignorant foreigner).

Two Things I Have Learned (with proof I am lazy)

I have learned at least two things in my life...(things that others probably already know, but i have certainly discovered them to be true!)

1. Lawns should be mowed when they are dry. Seriously. Don't water for like two days before

you mow, and it will go much, much easier. Once I mowed a wet lawn, and it clogged up like 5 times before i was done with just my back yard. Same yard when it is dry? Just have to empty the grass catcher once at the end.

2. Whenever I say that i can eat something unhealthy and use the reasoning that i will just eat healthy later, and today will just be my "splurge day", it is never like that. Ever. It just means that I will eat unhealthy today, and, probably tomorrow too if the mood strikes.

And, I think these two patently true truths I have learned have one thing in common: I am lazy. I get tired of clearing a clogged mower, and so when i learn that mowing a dry lawn is much simpler, I am more than happy to plan my mows around my watering habits. And regarding eating...there is no immediate inconvenience to eating unhealthy, so i just go for it, as often as I please. (Though i do suppose the pending obesity and coronary should suffice as a future inconvenience, somehow I am rarely deterred.)

No New Baby

Our baby was supposed to come today based on the predictions of our doctors early on in the process. Boy were they wrong. She TOtally isnt coming today. The difficulty is just in the waiting...minute by minute until *ding* we start having contractions.

So....i guess at this point we just keep waiting and waiting. I really hope i dont have to go back to work for another week. But we will see. Prayers for labor to begin are officially solicited, so feel free.

Regarding Hell

One of the things that inspired me to start writing were the thoughts that were generated by reading some books recently. I am nearly through Brian McLaren's trilogy, A New Kind of Christian. The final book is on Hell. This is something that I havent given much thought, especially considering that McLaren thought it was worth the subject of 1/3 of his trilogy.

The Problem: Doesnt it seem odd that a God who is portrayed as passionately loving humans throughout the bible also seems to send people to a place of eternal torment? Are those two things inconsistent?

The basic answers (and there may be many more): 1. God predestined some for hell so that his mercy on the saved looks really nice. 2. God's sense of justice requires that he sends all those who do not confess faith in Him to eternal conscious torment...because that is what sin deserves. 3. God will save a bunch of people, not just those who are "christians", but Hell is still for bad people. 4. God will save everyone in the end through his grace. 5. Hell doesnt really exist, people just go away when they die. 6. Jesus talked about hell to scare people...it doesnt really exist.

Those are basically the options that we are given, unless we can come up with something different. The book seems to begin suggesting a different approach...but i havent fully understood it yet. It has something to do with suggesting that the theological categories we use arent sufficient, and really arent what the bible is talking about (otherwise the bible would have been written like a theology textbook). Rather, we need to focus on what the bible focusses on, like mercy, justice, compassion, joyfulness, selflessness, kindness, healthiness and that sort of thing. Which I agree with, but, that doesnt mean that i dont quest to understand the meaning of all those passages that seem to reference Hell in the bible. It is something to figure out, anyway.

Shameful Memories

Ever have one of those embarassing moments? Ever hold on to it for the next 20 years, even though it probably didnt survive the onlookers short-term memory?

When i was really quite young, probably 9 or 10, I had one such incident. And no matter how old i get it creeps back into my awareness on occassion. We were at church camp, as we were many summers of my childhood, and i was engaging in some sort of playful games with Seth (and maybe some other friends). Seths parents saw us running around and asked, ever so sweetly and kindly, "Matthew, do you know where your parents are?" And the response heard 'round the world, er, campsite, was: "I don't know and I don't care." So definitive, so careless. As I skipped off into the dusty distance, little did I know that that twinge of "that was a little rude..." would stick with me the rest of my life.

Funny how that happens.

SPAM: a love--hate relationship

Sometimes, when checking my email, I have a love--hate relationship to my spam.

Love: I really love it when I am checking my gmail spam, and the little adwords on the sidebar are trying to sell me recipes for spam cake, spam guitars, and spam salad. It makes me giggle a little. One reason is the obvious mixup in words. But I also like the idea out there that advertisers are paying money hoping you will click on their advert for spam cake. Really? It just seems like one may be able to find a better market out there!

Hate: Well, a baffled annoyance, really. Why can gmail filter out most spam, but then deliver some crazy email written in russian to my inbox? Really? That isnt even close! Also, can span not just delete messages for online pharmacies et. al.?

second rate

Can I still grow potatoes? probably not this year. They say March or April...like when you are supposed to plant everything. But those months go by so fast. Who wouldnt want to grow potatoes. Probably red ones. I love the idea of picking something outside and eating it. How great is that. Siri made some green beans that i grew a while back...they were pretty good. These days my veggie garden promises only a few more things this year...actually just tomatoes and one lonely pumpkin amongst a gigantic pumpkin plant. Sad really...veggies are nice, they grow quickly. I guess i still have the oranges to look forward to. Winter will be great for that.

Siri bought a wonderful book for me called Landscaping With Fruit. I am so going to landscape with fruit one of these days. Actually i guess i should add that to my currently reading list.

The First Word of the Tenth Word

So, the blog title is meaningless. But at least it is a blog title, which is much more than it had a few minutes ago. Really, I just wanted somewhere to write out my thoughts. It is, i guess, a selfish endeavor to process my thinking and post it online. But its all good. I have asked Siri on numerous occasions to start a blog, but i dont really think it is something that sounds like much fun to her, so i took the reigns and am going for it.

Everything that is going on in my life right now is reading books and waiting for a baby. I have developed the potentially awful habit of writing before coffee a.m., and that is never a good thing. So, sorry if it is all unintelligible. I promise to go make coffee right now.

And in the fashion of Jon Stewart, as I leave you, here is your moment of zen:

Dance Domo, Dance!